


Everlasting Only Lasts So Long

by ExistentialFish



Series: A Promise Taken Beyond The Grave [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, Characters only, Dysfunctional Family, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Found Family, Ghost Wilbur sequel hinted, If you know me you know I'm bad at tagging, NO shipping it is all very platonic and familial, SMP Earth references, The following tags are sort of (?) spoilers idk, Then Not-Young Tommy, Tommy centric, Tommy needs a hug, Young Tommy, and then, flowers yay, not the real people, thank you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27892384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExistentialFish/pseuds/ExistentialFish
Summary: “Do you know what this flower is?” Wilbur waits for Tommy to shake his head before continuing. “It’s a yarrow. It represents everlasting love.Tommy frowns. “That one? But it’s ugly.”Wilbur laughs and ruffles his hair. “Maybe, but that’s what it means. Everlasting love. That’s what I pledge to you, Toms.” Wilbur tucks it behind Tommy’s ear. “I’m going to love you and care for you for the rest of my life, I promise. I think of you like a brother, Tommy. And I never leave family behind.”---Tommy's known since a young age that everybody leaves, eventually. He thought Wilbur and the rest of his family was the exception, for awhile.The Dream SMP proves him wrong.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: A Promise Taken Beyond The Grave [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042452
Comments: 27
Kudos: 324





	Everlasting Only Lasts So Long

**Author's Note:**

> There's so much going on in this fandom that I keep getting distracted by new projects and falling behind, oops. This series was originally planned out before S2 really started, but I may incorporate elements of it.
> 
> Big shoutout to Teensy_Sparrows who beta'd all 6,000 words of this! I'd still be crying over trying to edit this without you, thank you so much <3
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys.
> 
> (Also please pretend the flowers I listed can feasibly grow near each other, I know very little about flowers)

Tommy stands in a field of swaying flowers, warm sunshine beating down on him and tinting the world in yellow. Tommy had wanted to come pick flowers for his birthday like his mother used to before she left, and Wilbur insisted on coming with him. Eight year olds, he’d said, shouldn't be left alone in unfamiliar flower fields. Tommy isn’t sure why not. Seven year olds, and six year olds, and five year olds had all been left alone in worse places. He knows that as a fact, because Tommy’s been on his own since his mother died and his father vanished in the night, and since then he’s been through much worse. So Tommy doesn’t really understand Wilbur’s concern. He’s a big kid, he can take care of himself. He always has.

Wilbur’s a weird guy. He’d found Tommy in the woods and had taken him back to a little log cabin. Tommy hadn’t wanted to go at first, but he’d been so cold. He went in for the warmth, and he stayed for the dog. Tommy loves Peedog. He hopes he’ll get to say goodbye when Wilbur leaves with the wolf in tow.

Wilbur hasn’t left yet. Which is strange, because everyone leaves. Tommy’s mother, his father, the cousin who briefly took him in, the traveler who got tired of carting around a kid, even the boy Tommy’d made friends with who promised to visit him in the woods but who never came back. Everyone leaves, Tommy’s gotten used to it. It’s okay though, because Tommy’s a big boy, and he can handle it.

He isn't sure what to make of Wilbur, who’s stuck around longer than most. Tommy hopes he’ll stay even longer. He likes how Wilbur hums when he tucks him into bed, and he likes that Wilbur lets Tommy help with dinner even though he usually messes it up. He likes Peedog and how he licks Tommy’s face until it’s drenched, and he likes snuggling with the orca plushie Wilbur gave him to keep away bad dreams. He likes how big and tall Wilbur is, and he likes how warm Wilbur’s hand is when he holds Tommy’s in his to walk to the village for groceries. Tommy likes a lot about living with Wilbur. But he knows their time together is probably running short. It’s been five months already. No one but Tommy’s parents has ever stayed this long. Wilbur will be leaving soon, Tommy’s sure of it.

Tommy wants to pretend he won’t though. So Tommy pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind and pretends he can stay in this moment in the meadow forever. Music drifts lazily through the air from Wilbur’s guitar as Tommy wanders. He pulls up flowers and weeds alike, whatever catches his eye, and clutches them tightly in his hands as he runs through the grass and petals. He stumbles a bit over the roots and ridges in the ground but keeps going. Everything’s so warm and bright and endless. Bees buzz around him and his stomach is full, and the clear sky stretches out above him, open and inviting. Tommy thinks this might just be his favorite day ever. His mother always told him to say thank you for nice things, so eventually Tommy runs back to Wilbur, waving his handfuls of flowers in the air.

Wilbur stops strumming as Tommy approaches him and gives him a soft smile. Wilbur has a nice smile, that’s another thing Tommy likes about him. Tommy knows his is too big and he’s missing a front tooth, so he tries not to smile widely too often. It’s hard not to grin in response to Wilbur’s smiles though.

“What do you have there, Tommy?”

“Flowers!” Tommy proudly responds, shoving his still-closed fists toward Wilbur.

“Well, what kind?”

“Um…” Tommy pauses and frowns. “I’m not sure.”

Wilbur sets his guitar to the side and draws Tommy into his lap. “Why don’t you let me see them then, hm?”

Tommy grins and keeps his fists stubbornly closed. Wilbur sighs and raises his hands up in surrender before, without warning, dropping them to Tommy’s sides to tickle him. Tommy shrieks and squirms and in his distraction, lets Wilbur nudge his fingers apart. Tommy unfurls them all the way once he’s caught his breath. His tight grip has smushed a few of them but Wilbur doesn't seem to mind.

“That one’s a cornflower,” Wilbur tells him, pointing to it. “and those are daisies and white clovers.”

“What’s that one Wilbs?”

Tommy can feel Wilbur’s smile against the top of his head at the nickname. “That’s gyspophila.”

Tommy tries to mimic the word and scrunches his face up when it comes out jumbled and wrong. Wilbur laughs, and Tommy’s proud enough that he caused it to forget wanting to pout.

“You can just call it baby’s breath. You gathered quite a few flowers, want to make flower crowns?”

Tommy nods eagerly and Wilbur guides his hands to start making the crown. Once Tommy seems to have the hang of it, Wilbur starts his own. After a little while, Tommy finishes and holds his clumsy attempt up with a wide grin. “Look Wilby!

Wilbur gives him a thumbs up and Tommy twists around on his lap, Wilbur dipping his head down to let him place the crown on his head. Wilbur places his own flower crown, which is much neater than Tommy’s, on Tommy’s head in turn.

“Now we match,” Tommy cheerfully informs him.

“Now we match,” Wilbur confirms.

Tommy feels almost deliriously happy, basking in the combined warmth of the sun and the comforting arms around him. His eyes keep slipping shut but he shakes himself awake each time they close. Wilbur chuckles a little and pats his head.

“Looks like it’s naptime, huh bud? Sleep, you can play more after.”

Instantly, Tommy tenses. They’re far enough away from the cabin that he doesn’t think he can find his way back on his own. Is this where Wilbur finally slips away? Tommy doesn’t even have his bag, he’d stopped clinging to it only recently. He didn’t get to say goodbye to Peedog yet either.

Tommy thinks of the years before Wilbur, out on his own, and starts to cry. He doesn’t want to go back to that yet. He doesn’t want to have to take care of himself, or scrounge for food in the bushes. He doesn’t want to wake up alone with an empty stomach, or find safety in trees instead of Wilbur’s arms. He doesn't want to be alone. He knows he can do it, he always has. But he doesn't want to have to. He wants to stay with Wilbur, for just a little bit longer.

Tommy doesn’t realize he’s started shaking, but Wilbur must because he rubs soothing circles into Tommy’s back. “Tommy? What’s wrong?”

“I – I don’t want you to go,” Tommy hiccups. “Can’t you stay just a lil’ longer? Please?”

The arms around Tommy stiffen and Tommy risks a glance at Wilbur’s face. Through his tears he can see Wilbur’s grim expression, and he ducks his head back down.

“Tommy, look at me.” Tommy reluctantly lifts his head back up and Wilbur gives him the softest, most reassuring smile the boy’s ever seen. It makes his heart even more. He’ll miss Wilbur’s smiles.

“I’m not going anywhere, Toms. Okay?” Wilbur takes Tommy’s small hand in his and gently squeezes it. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore, I’m here to stay. I’ve gotten pretty attached to you too, you know? There’s no way I’m letting you go.”

Tommy still doesn’t believe him. It must show on his face, since Wilbur sighs softly and lets go of Tommy’s hand to pluck a flower from the bundle they hadn’t used for the crowns. “Do you know what this flower is?” Wilbur waits for Tommy to shake his head before continuing. “It’s a yarrow. It represents everlasting love.

Tommy frowns. “That one? But it’s ugly.”

Wilbur laughs and ruffles his hair. “Maybe, but that’s what it means. Everlasting love. That’s what I pledge to you, Toms.” Wilbur tucks it behind Tommy’s ear. “I’m going to love you and care for you for the rest of my life, I promise. I think of you like a brother, Tommy. And I never leave family behind.”

Tommy stares at Wilbur with wide eyes. He searches for the distaste and irritation everyone’s always shown before they leave him, but Wilbur looks achingly genuine. Wilbur’s never broken a promise he made for Tommy so far. That’s another thing Tommy likes about him, Wilbur always keeps his word.

“Pinky promise?” Tommy whispers, just to be sure.

Wilbur nods and locks their pinkies together. “I pinky promise. I’m not going to leave you Tommy, as long as you’ll let me I’ll be there for you. A week from now, a year, a decade… As long as I’m alive, you’ll have a brother to lean on.”

Tommy gazes at Wilbur – at his… brother? - with wonder. No one ever stays, Tommy knows that by now. But Wilbur… Tommy trusts Wilbur. Tommy trusts his big brother. Hesitantly, he lays his head back on Wilbur’s chest and closes his eyes. He still worries he’ll wake up alone, but the fears are no longer strong enough to drive sleep from his heavy limbs. Tommy drifts into sleep to the rays of the sun curling around him, Wilbur’s hands running through his hair, and gentle humming filling the air.

For once in his life, Tommy believes someone is here to stay.

\-----

He probably should have known that it's never that easy. Everyone breaks their promises eventually. Everyone leaves.

\-----

Tommy had thought himself fortunate to have just one brother. Then, all of a sudden, he finds himself with a whole little family. He meets Techno and Phil through Wilbur. They come to visit Wilbur, who must not have told them about Tommy judging by the confused glance they share.

At first they seem surprised but Phil is nice to him immediately. He crouches down to Tommy’s level as Tommy hides behind Wilbur’s legs, and his friendly smile draws Tommy out of his shell by the end of their visit. The way he never fails to laugh at all of Tommy’s little jokes and childish insults makes Tommy grow bolder and more confident each time Phil stops by. Tommy likes Phil, he reminds him a little of his mother if she’d been less burdened by the stress of keeping him fed.

Techno is colder in the beginning. He looks uncomfortable to be around a kid and Tommy in turn is too scared by his intimidating form and hard expression to interact with him without Wilbur’s prompting. By the third time he and Phil visit, though, Tommy’s grown more accustomed to strangers and, fueled by Wilbur and Phil, is comfortably in his element within an hour. Tommy, no longer frightened of the quietest of the adults, does everything he can to try to earn his attention and boldly asks to use his sword. Techno tells him no rather flatly and tries to avoid a conversation, but Tommy is nothing if not persistent and lacking an understanding of personal space. By the end of the night he’s managed to curl up in Techno’s lap. Neither of them really know how they got in that position, but Tommy’s too stubborn to move and Techno’s visibly smug over Wilbur’s petty jealous comments, so that night Tommy falls asleep on someone who isn't Wilbur for the first time in a long while.

Tommy grows to like Phil and Techno a lot, but it takes him a while to get attached to them the same way he is to Wilbur. They aren’t around as often and Wilbur is, well, Wilbur. No one can really compare, in Tommy’s eyes. No one’s shown themselves to be as trustworthy as him anyway.

Still, over time his list of people he knows won’t leave him expands from one to three. With Phil, the realization is slow building, and Tommy doesn’t notice until he finds himself calling Phil “dad” in his mind. It’s a gradual thing, hidden in their casual interactions. It’s in how Phil never fails to show up and watch Tommy when Wilbur needs a break, and in how engaged and kind he is the whole time. It’s in the trinkets he brings back for Tommy from his travels, that tell Tommy Phil thinks of him even when he doesn’t have to. It’s in the way Phil scoops him up to ride on his shoulders when Tommy’s legs get tired, and it’s in the way Phil introduces Tommy as his “youngest” like Tommy’s always been a part of his family and always will be. Tommy, in time, realizes that Phil will never leave him either.

With Techno, the realization is much more sudden. Tommy's been enamored with him since the start – he’s just so _cool_ – but he thinks it’s very clear Techno only tolerates him at best. Tommy isn’t sure Techno’s a forever thing like the others, even though they spend time together. He still likes it when Techno stops by, like when Techno tags along on occasion when Phil comes to watch Tommy, or just drops by to visit Wilbur when he’s in the area. In fact, one of Tommy’s favorite memories is of a day in August that Techno came to visit and Tommy called him over. Techno stays as deadpan and straight faced as always as he bends down to listen to Tommy giggle and tell him his plan to prank Wilbur, and Tommy worries he might disapprove. But when Wilbur walks right into Tommy’s trap and gets drenched by a water bucket, Technoblade wastes no time in scooping Tommy up and sprinting off as Wilbur chases after them. Techno throws verbal jabs over his shoulder as Tommy clings to him and shrieks with laughter, and at the end of it Techno and Wilbur tuck Tommy in for a nap. They bond in other instances too. Techno brings Tommy a dagger for his birthday and promises to teach him the basics of sword fighting the next year, and when Tommy gets sick Techno visits and leaves his cape draped around Tommy’s shoulders, and Tommy eventually takes to calling Techno his brother too. Still, it never fully hits him that Techno cares about him until the day Tommy gets hurt in the woods.

Tommy’s been with Wilbur for over a year and a half, so he’s allowed to go out on his own as long as stays in shouting range of the house. But Tommy’s a reckless little kid and Wilbur’s been busy preparing for Techno’s arrival, so of course Tommy gets bored and wanders further out than he’s supposed to. He isn’t expecting it when a skeleton emerges from the shade of the trees and takes aim at him. The first arrow whizzes by his cheek and Tommy immediately takes off back toward the house, a couple more arrows thudding into the trees around him. He trips on a root and goes sprawling against a tree, the clatter of bones warning him of the monster’s approach. Its next shot misses and hits the tree near Tommy’s head and he goes rigid and screams. He hears something not far off in the distance but his attention is fixed on the bow that’s drawn back and the arrow that grazes his arm. Tommy shouts again and the monster readies another shot, but before it can fire Techno charges into its trajectory. He barely grunts when the arrow hits him and the skeleton is dead in seconds. Then, Techno is kneeling beside Tommy and gathering him up into his arms.

Tommy’s cuts hurt and he’s still frozen in fear, but all he can focus on is the way his normally composed brother’s arms tremble as he hugs Tommy close to his chest. All he can see is a replay of Techno jumping in front of an arrow for him, and all he can hear is Techno’s furious roar. Tommy starts to cry as Techno lifts him up and presses a light kiss to the top of his forehead. Techno carries him homes but never once loosens his grip on him as Tommy bawls into his shoulder. And Tommy presses closer to him, deeply shaken but not afraid, because he knows Techno won’t ever let him get hurt. He knows in that moment that Techno, too, will never leave him.

\-----

Tommy should have known better than to think he meant something to these men. He came along too late to ever really be a part of their family, no matter how often they all pretended otherwise.

\-----

The fourth and final name on Tommy’s list of trustworthy people who will never leave is Tubbo. Tommy meets the other boy nearly three years after he meets Wilbur, and the two of them become inseparable almost immediately. Tommy adores Tubbo, Tubbo always manages to just make him feel _safe_. A part of him knows from the very beginning that Tubbo wouldn't ever leave him, but his certainty grows with every letter they exhange, every time one of them sneaks out to visit the other, every time Tubbo backs up one of his stupid plots without question. Tommy knows for sure the day he breaks his leg. He’d been worried Tubbo would grow bored of him now that he can’t go out to play, but Tubbo ends up coming to visit him even more often, patient and warm and safe, and Tommy knows Tubbo will never leave.

\-----

Tommy should have realized that trust doesn't always last and patience isn’t always endless. Nobody’ll wait for a boy with a broken leg forever.

\-----

As he grows, Tommy finds others he can trust and be close with. Very few of them actually hold Tommy’s faith in them staying by his side unconditionally, and those who do all end up betraying him or leaving him in some way or another. Still, through the backstabbing and abandonment, his faith never wavers in the four people he truly trusts, his family.

He only grows closer to Tubbo as they age, and Tommy follows him when he moves to the Dream SMP. He’s sad to leave his family behind, but they keep in touch and Tommy is ready to see the world.

Life with the people on the SMP is hard sometimes. They don’t have much faith in Tommy, and Tommy starts too many conflicts too often. He’s never really worried though. He has Tubbo by his side and he knows his brothers and dad would get to him in a heartbeat if he ever needs help. He trusts them to be there for him.

Tommy is thrilled when Wilbur joins the SMP. Tubbo is a comforting presence and Tommy loves his friends here no matter how much they all bicker and fight. Still, there’s nothing quite like having his big brother around. Tommy thinks, as soon as Wilbur appears, that his arrival will mark the start of the happiest time of Tommy’s life. Wilbur will help him out and keep him company, and Tommy will have family close by again, and he’ll be even more assured of his safety, like back when he was younger.

Wilbur isn’t as present as Tommy had hoped. It’s fine though because he’s still there when Tommy needs him, and it’s Tommy Wilbur calls on first when he wants to cause mischief.

Wilbur sets up a drug van. Tommy joins him, of course he does. It’s _Wilbur_ after all. And what harm can it cause? Tommy does stupid shit on the SMP all the time, and so far nothing too permanent has come of it.

Somehow, the drug scheme morphs into Wilbur wanting to start their own nation. Tommy knows right away that Dream isn’t going to like it. Still, he agrees to help. Wilbur knows best, and Wilbur will take care of him, and Tommy will continue to stick by his side and do anything for him because, well, because it’s Wilbur.

War breaks out, and Tommy’s faith in a member of his family is shaken for the first time.

Not his faith in Wilbur, though he puts Tommy in a dangerous position as his right hand man. Tommy is happy to be there, he’d do anything to stay by Wilbur. Not his faith in Tubbo either, who joins alongside Tommy and fights in battles they’re both too young to be involved in. Certainly not his faith in Techno, who’s too busy and uninterested to join the fight but who sends Tommy countless letters full of advice and threatens Wilbur into checking on Tommy’s mental wellbeing and who makes it clear that if things ever get truly bad, they can tell him and Techno will be there before Dream can even lift a finger (They never tell him when things get bad, and Tommy desperately wishes they had. Maybe then he wouldn't have lost his discs. Maybe then he wouldn't wake up every night to vivid dreams of an arrow piercing his flesh all over again. Maybe then the loss of Tommy’s faith in his father could have been avoided.).

No, Tommy’s faith is shaken in his father, in Phil.

When Tommy left, Phil started moving around more. That only increased once Wilbur left to join Tommy. Phil had gone back to the life he’d led before he had three children to keep tabs on, and apparently he was gladly committed to the lifestyle now. Tommy’s happy for him, but he wishes it didn’t make him so absent.

Phil gets harder and harder to get a hold of, and by the time war breaks out he barely responds to their letters. Wilbur tells Tommy it’s just because Phil isn’t always at home to receive their mail, but assures him Phil will be there if they need him. Tommy can see that it weighs on Wilbur, the lack of contact. Tommy turns a blind eye and accepts Wilbur’s words, holding on to childish hope even when only a third of his letters get a response, and even when Wilbur gently instructs him to stop worrying Phil with his letters.

Though the loss of attention hurts, the first true blow to Tommy’s faith in Phil doesn’t come until the final stretch of the war. Tommy’s scared. He’s about to face down Dream in a duel, and he’s only fifteen. He wants so badly for someone to reassure him. But Wilbur is already stressed enough and keeps trying to stop Tommy, Techno would come to intervene for sure, and Tubbo is already looking at Tommy like he’s a ghost, so Tommy turns to the next logical choice. He writes to Phil, and he even pays extra to deliver it via enderchest to ensure it’ll reach him faster. Tommy asks for advice, for support, for his father to ease his fears and tell him he’ll be okay.

Tommy never receives a response.

Later, Tommy’s struck by an arrow. Later, his unconscious body is carried back to safety. Later, Wilbur writes their father and brother a tearful letter. Later, Tommy wakes from a weeklong coma traumatized and crying out for his family. Tubbo and Wilbur are at his side instantly, and Techno is soon to follow – he explains later that he arrived the day after Wilbur sent his letter. Wilbur adds that he’d nearly fought Dream then and there but held off to make sure all the health potions would go to Tommy in case his condition worsened. Tommy feels sick thinking about his injury, but the group hug he’s carefully pulled into distracts him.

Phil is notably missing from the family huddle.

After Tommy can walk again, after he’s traded his discs for independence, after Techno has departed with the snarling promise of a duel, after Tommy has been named vice president, after he’s started sleeping more than an hour at a time, Phil sends a frantic letter. He says he’s been away from home and he asks if Tommy’s alright now and he tells Tommy not to get himself killed.

No visit. Just a letter.

It hurts more than Tommy wants to admit, but it’s not then that Tommy loses faith in Phil. It’s shaken, but not gone. Instead, the decline of Tommy’s trust in Phil is as gradual as its creation was. It fades with every letter that takes weeks to be answered, with every day Phil fails to visit, with every night Tommy stays curled up in a ravine with a madman and a bounty on his head, with every time Phil asks what he can do to help but never offers to come to them.

One day, Tommy wakes up and that trust is simply… gone. Phil, he realizes, has left him.

\-----

Later, Tommy will stand at a crater’s edge and watch Phil drive a sword through Wilbur’s stomach. Funny, he thinks, that he finally shows up in time to break what little Tommy had left. He should’ve known better than to be hopeful.

\-----

Tommy’s relationship with Techno breaks much more abruptly and clearly than his bond with Phil. It splinters as Techno points a crossbow at Tubbo’s chest, as Techno nearly kills Tommy’s best friend. Still, a naive, selfish piece of them thinks it doesn’t have to mean the end for them. Techno would never do that to _Tommy_. Techno would never let Tommy be hurt if he could help it. So Tommy has no qualms about getting in Techno’s face and yelling, bordering on tears, demanding an answer for why he’d ever do what he did.

Then Wilbur builds a pit, and it only takes one glance at Niki patching up Tubbo for Tommy to jump in. He’s only slightly surprised when Techno follows his lead. He’s more surprised when Techno’s fist connects with his jaw, forceful and merciless. He’s most surprised when Wilbur laughs and cheers above them and Tommy is _so clearly_ losing, yet Techno keeps going. Tommy’s blood is on his brother’s knuckles and his whole body aches.

Techno climbs out of the pit and tosses a taunt over his shoulder that Tommy lacks the energy to hear, and Tommy leans against the wall and wipes blood from his face. He watches Techno’s back as he walks away and wonders when Techno stopped being willing to take an arrow for him. He thinks of the moment, all those years ago, that he realized Techno would never leave, would never let Tommy hurt, and understanding sinks heavily into his bones.

Tommy climbs out of the pit and prepares for the day he knows will come, the day when Techno leaves him behind as he was always destined to do.

\-----

He’d been prepared for Techno to leave, but Tommy hadn’t expected _this._ He’d thought Techno just no longer cared. He hadn’t realized Techno still cared enough to want to hurt him one more time. Techno yells about heroes, and Tommy thinks of playing heroes and dragons, and Tommy wonders if Techno knew from the beginning he’d be the one to sentence his younger brother to an unhappy end.

\-----

Tubbo’s his partner in crime through Tommy’s life in the SMP. He’s certain he can trust Tubbo with everything, and he knows that trust is mutual. Until one day, it isn’t.

Tommy finds a sign at the top of the tower, with Tubbo’s messy handwriting scrawled over it, declaring Tommy a public enemy. He starts noticing, after that, the way Tubbo’s slowly withdrawn from him. He recognizes the suspicious glances and silent refusals to tell Tommy more than was necessary, when he looks back on Tubbo’s behavior. It’s alright though. Tommy’s shaken to find their bond isn't as mutual or absolute as he’d thought, but it had been a stressful time for everyone. He’s confident it’ll go back to being Tubbo and Tommy against the world now that it’s blown over.

It doesn’t.

Tubbo’s busy as the president, and Tommy finds it harder and harder to get Tubbo to spend quality time with him. And sure, Tommy doesn't have the energy or patience for politics these days, but he’s still insulted when he learns Tubbo usually skips over him to discuss policies and concerns with Quackity instead. It doesn’t help that Tommy’s interactions with Tubbo have become increasingly strained. Tubbo tells him he doesn't understand why Tommy has to keep causing trouble. Tommy tells him he doesn't understand why Tubbo doesn't just help him like the good old days.

In the end, the certainty of Tubbo and Tommy becomes a wisp of what it once was. Tubbo hasn’t left Tommy yet, he’s still within reach. But what’s the point of reaching for something you know will slip between your fingers once it tires of you?

Tommy, surrounded by old friends, knows he is alone.

\-----

Tommy tries to stop getting in the way. Tubbo still speaks with him, but Tommy understands now. He knows it’s only a matter of time, but he still doesn’t want to make fate arrive any sooner. Everyone leaves, in the end, but Tommy wants to keep pretending for a little longer.

\-----

Tommy’s faith in Wilbur is the strongest, and it never truly breaks. Tommy honestly doesn’t see it coming until Wilbur’s already gone. Despite everything that happens, despite knowing Wilbur’s gone crazy, Tommy still stubbornly refuses to believe Wilbur would ever leave him. Because he’s _Wilbur_ , he’s special, he’s different. Wilbur is the one good thing that Tommy is absolutely, unflinchingly certain will never hurt him, will never truly get sick of him, will never leave him behind. No matter how Wilbur screams or cackles, no matter how the things he says to Tommy may sting, no matter how terrible his goals may become, Tommy knows Wilbur won’t leave him. Tommy, in turn, won’t leave Wilbur either.

So despite all the signs, Tommy doesn't see it coming when Wilbur finally leaves him behind for good. When it happens, it’s devastating and final and it etches itself into Tommy’s memory forever. He hears it first, the mad laughter that mixes with sobs and carries across the gaping chasm, the loud demands to “end it Phil, kill me!”

Tommy rushes to the edge, his attention torn briefly from Techno’s threats as he sees his father and brother standing in what remains of the button room. Phil turns and locks eyes with Tommy, and Tommy wants to scream, wants to shake his head, wants to run to his brother’s side and shield him and wants to make everything stop breaking apart. Against his will, Tommy stays frozen in place as Wilbur’s words register in his mind. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out, and his father turns away from Tommy’s gaze.

Phil swings the sword and, just like that, Wilbur’s left Tommy behind.

\-----

Later, when shock has eased its grip on him and night has fallen over a broken land, Tommy takes the time to think. He wonders if that was truly the moment Wilbur left him, or if Tommy’s been the butt of a long, twisted joke this whole time. It takes him ages to fall asleep, and when he does, Tommy dreams of blood soaked yarrow growing around his ankles and pulling him into the dirt.

\-----

Tommy barely remembers the funeral. He’s been running mostly on autopilot since the explosion, and most things that happen just go in one ear and out the other. 

It was raining, he thinks, when they buried Wilbur. He’s not sure though. All he really remembers from that day is feeling Phil’s hand on his shoulder and tiredly waiting for Phil to slip away yet again too.

(He does, though Tommy’s not sure when. All he knows is he’s seen Phil sneaking out to visit a certain pink-haired outlaw in the past two weeks more times than Tommy’s slept in that same period.)

Once clarity finally hits him, Tommy decides to visit the grave they dug for Wilbur. There’d been mixed emotions about burying the ex-president in Dream SMP or L’Manberg after what he’d done, so they ended up taking him all the way to SMP Earth and buried him near his old home. Tommy can’t remember whose suggestion it had been, but when he finds himself in a familiar field of flowers he realizes it might have been his own.

The scenery is as lovely as the day Tommy first saw it, though the colors and sweet scent seem more muted to him now. Wilbur’s grave is scenic, surrounded by vibrant flowers that sway in the wind beneath a sun that casts everything in a golden glow. Tommy thinks Tubbo would like it here, but can’t even remember if Tubbo had been at the funeral. He tilts his head up to the clear sky and sighs. It’s strange, the sun is shining down on him yet he still feels so cold. The ground, at least, is somewhat warm when Tommy sits across from Wilbur’s gravestone.

“Hey Wilbs,” He says. Grass and leaves tickle Tommy’s arms and he absently plucks flowers up from around them, starting to weave them together into a crown. He needs something to do with his hands to keep him grounded, and it’s habit after making them with Wilbur so many times here in his youth.

“You really, uh-” Tommy laughs nervously. “Wow. I don’t know. You really fucked up, huh? You… you’re dead. You screwed us all over, you and Techno. I still can’t believe…

“I really trusted you, you know. I know you fucking knew that. I-I thought… I thought you said you’d never leave me behind. Isn’t that what this was all for? I’ve spent most of my life at your side. I sacrificed my childhood, my discs, my health, to fight in your wars. All to stay with you. I thought we were brothers Wil. I thought you promised.”

Tommy laughs and brushes tears off his cheeks. “Look at me. Talking to a piece of rock and a cold corpse. Notch. I’m gonna end up like you if I don't get a hold of myself. But, maybe that wouldn't be so bad,” Tommy whispers, “being like you. At least you weren’t alone. I made sure of that. I thought you were doing the same for me.”

He takes a deep breath. “Have you been gone for even longer than I thought? Have I just been chasing after a memory this whole time? I thought it was still me ‘n you, but I guess you probably stopped caring about me awhile ago and I was just too stupid to realize it, like I was with everyone else.”

Tommy finishes the flower crown he’d been making and smiles shakily. “Do you remember what you promised me here, a long time ago? You promised you’d love me forever, that you’d never leave me behind. I- I believed that, Wilbur. Fuck, I believed that for the first time in my life. Were you lying back then, too?” Tommy’s hands start to shake and he nearly crushes the delicate stems he’s holding by accident. “You – you selfish fucking prick, I trusted you. I would’ve done anything to stay by your side. I-I love you wilbur, I thought you loved me too. So why’d you give up on me?”

Tommy’s crying now as he places the flower crown atop the gravestone. “Fuck you, Wilbur Soot. Fuck you. You bitchy little liar, I wish you never found me, I hate...” Tommy trails off and sighs. “No, I don’t hate you. Maybe I should, but I dont. I would’ve followed you anywhere. I think I still would. Is that pathetic, that I still wish you were here? I don’t know, maybe.

“I wish you were here, Wil. I don’t want to be alone. But that’s just how life works for me, right? Everyone leaves, even you. Even though we promised… I promised too, didn’t I? That I wouldn’t leave you either.” Tommy holds his pinky up to the open air with a grim smile. “Well, I’m still breathing, so I guess it’s up to me to hold true to it. I won’t forget you, okay? I won’t let you go. I don’t even think I _can_.”

Tommy wipes his tears away and stands up, taking another look around the peaceful flower field. It’s nice. He hopes when he dies, they’ll bury him here too. Maybe even next to Wilbur.

“Goodbye Wilby. I’ll come back soon, I promise.” Tommy gives his brother one last regretful smile then sets off, all alone.

\-----

Tommy really should have tried harder to let go.

\-----

**Author's Note:**

> ominous smiles am I right??
> 
> Thanks for reading, please feel free to leave any comments, questions, or criticisms down below! I thrive off of them, so if you want to see the rest of this series... Just kidding. But to be clear, this is the setup for 1-3 multichapter fics involving Tommy, Ghost Wilbur, and unfinished business. If you're interested, click subscribe, and I'll hopefully have chapter one at your doorstep within 3-4 business years.
> 
> Big thanks again to my beta!! And thanks again to everyone who read. Have a lovely evening :)


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